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How social media affects our relationships

More than 75% of the world's population aged 13 and over use social media. This also means that the majority of humanity spends several hours every day in the digital world.

This article aims to show how social media influences our relationships, both positively and negatively. It also aims to offer a solution as to how we can learn to deal with it consciously and how we can train our subconscious to use social media with the right attitude and even let the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

First, I would like to give some information about how the subconscious works and why people are so susceptible to manipulation.

The greatest illusion in our world is that of the autonomous human being. We humans are not individuals who make our own decisions independently and freely, independent of our environment, our upbringing, our upbringing and other, mostly spiritual, i.e. supernatural, factors. We are all spiritually connected to one another and use the information of the morphogenetic field to shape our lives. Most people do this very unconsciously.

But there are more and more people who, through awareness, are able to use these skills to make their decisions, reactions and interactions with others as consciously as possible and thus avoid mistakes or at least correct them.

This happens by listening within, feeling, seeing images and correcting stored information towards a healing, mostly forgiving view of things.

It is nothing new that our senses provide us with information from the environment that is important for our decisions and our interactions with the environment. However, our subconscious is not just a collection of information from all our lives, but also the connection to the unconscious, where our true nature lies.

And what many people may not yet know is that our brain can only remember 150 people. Anything beyond that is compared with the existing data and stored as "is like...", which also decrypts our popular pigeonhole thinking.

More information does not necessarily lead to more knowledge.

The subconscious mind reacts to external stimuli with fight, flight or freeze, depending on what has been successful so far.

Or, and many people are not yet aware of this, by pretending to be connected! Because connectedness is what we all want. But whether it is real is the big question of our time. And so social media unintentionally, or perhaps mentally guided, becomes a playing field for real or, and this seems to be more true at the moment, fake connectedness.

The latter can lead people to unintentionally put on a mask and not say and do what they feel, but instead show paradoxical actions or reactions. As long as they are successful in doing so, they do not question this behavior.

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And so it usually happens unintentionally that we pretend to have a false connection with each other on social media and are not real. We cannot be real. Because even if we record videos of ourselves, it is something different from spontaneous interaction. After all, you can edit a video and you can even use filters or AI to make it look much better than you do in real life.

Only in genuine, direct and personal conversation can we truly understand each other. That is why we use our three main senses most often every day:

  1. See

  2. Hear

  3. Feel

But what happens when our subconscious, which relies on information from our senses, cannot rely on this information being correct?

Although the partner will still try to form an opinion from the information available, it will become increasingly difficult to classify this information as right or wrong. This is also a common cause of toxic relationships. Usually, the partner who no longer trusts his or her perception due to constant misinformation or ambiguity can no longer decide what is right or wrong.

If we now drift further into the digital world and personal interaction becomes increasingly rare, it is very likely that people will understand each other less well and become more distrustful because they do not see others as they really are, and so our society will not become connected but separated. And this separation will then be replaced by an artificial, false and superficial connection, which is unfortunately the consumption of social media. If you are wondering why our relationships are becoming increasingly toxic, hopefully you will see a common thread here.

Our senses are constantly deceived.

We already live in a world of deception and false expectations.

Nothing is as it seems.

Social media plays an important role here and misleads people into no longer connecting with each other in a real way. It only encourages superficiality, the supposed freedom to be able to contact your supposed friends at any time and anywhere, and the misunderstandings caused by communication that is far too one-sided.

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And what about those who still use their 6th sense, their heart energy, their mind, their ability to love and everything else that goes with it?

They see this digital world as a great betrayal of their original nature and a loss of real life. They would prefer not to take part in it. But many have to in order to maintain the miserable connection to those who are found more here than anywhere else, and not least to earn money from it, because many physical meetings have become rarer since Corona and the world has not really recovered from that. Some yoga studios, therapy centers and places where community took place could not survive. Most have accepted that the world is now more digital, and I also offer my couples counseling and hypnosis online. So this is not meant to be a criticism, just a statement of facts.

And so everything is increasingly shifting to social media, which was originally designed to keep people in touch on a private level, even if they lived far apart. But people mostly knew each other from physical life. At first it was strange to talk to complete strangers like that. Today it is completely normal and it has also opened up perspectives for us, allowing us to work together from the most distant places.

Social media, like everything in the world, has a good side and a bad side.

Yes, it is now possible to make money online, and it has never been easier, at least for former shopkeepers and commodity traders.

But what is really valuable often falls by the wayside. And I have been wondering for years how long it will take humanity to recognize the deception in their lives and relationships. Because the real connection has been replaced by a fake one that simply doesn't feel like the interpersonal relationship with people who are actually present in your life and with whom you regularly communicate face to face.

Furthermore, the subconscious puts every form of deception in the same category. The word itself carries the evaluation and is applied to everything that feels like being cheated. It always leads to a bitter disappointment. That is why many users feel worse after consuming the drug. But that is exactly what is needed to end this deception, as people usually look for new ways when they realize that something is not good for them.

As a result of this deception, there are now more singles on the planet than ever before. And by that I don't just mean people who live alone, but also those who live together in a partnership or family, but who still don't have an adequate exchange of information through thoughts, feelings, conversations and physical and emotional closeness. I mean lonely people.

The connection between people so that they can learn from each other and develop further is the basis of our lives. If we lose this connection, the consequences are hard to imagine. And even if the fake connection that can be created through social media somehow consoles us, it always leaves a bitter aftertaste of a lack of closeness.

Although it can never replace actual human interaction, it can at least trick the subconscious into thinking that one can find friends or at least like-minded people here.

But what is learned and where the development goes depends very much on WHAT you consume on social media and what you put into this field as a content creator, whether privately or professionally.

Because the algorithm is now so intelligent that it shows us more and more of what we have previously paid attention to, it can easily manipulate people into buying things they would never have bought in their conscious mind or consuming content that literally steals time from their lives when they could have been doing much more important things.

If you get stuck on a post for some reason, the algorithm perceives this as interest without differentiating what kind of interest it is.

Without realizing it, so many become addicted to a world that doesn't really exist. But like other drugs, it takes a long time for an addict to realize that it is an addictive substance. And most never realize it because the subconscious mind blocks out that truth in order to keep searching for that feeling of connection.

People then consume more and more to feel better, and some have already learned to interact with the algorithm in such a way that they deliberately skip over certain topics in order to only see the nice and good pictures. This avoids even recognizing the reality that is happening outside the window and often also blocks out the suffering that happens to others in the world every day. This may not apply to all platforms, as they differ in their orientation and target group, but depending on how they are guided subconsciously, users know intuitively what to look at and what not. And so critical posts can be pushed out of sight so that no one has to deal with them.

It's like an escape from the physical world into the digital world.

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What is the best way to manipulate people?

By evoking EMOTIONS in him or her in order to initially bind the viewer or reader to you. This is how some people get a lot of followers. Because they are good at pushing the right buttons and especially at getting the feeling of connection. But the subconscious cannot distinguish between real and fake connection. It is only looking for the good feeling, how it achieves this is secondary.

This is basically old hat and has been used in product advertising for a long time. People prefer to buy products that they feel emotionally addressed and touched by the advertising. The only difference is that nowadays it is actively about the follower feeling a strong connection with the person they see selling the product - and this happens through identification.

The approach is always the same: show a negative emotion caused by a specific problem that the potential customer has, reinforce the negative emotion through certain images, music and texts and then provide the solution so that a positive emotion arises and the unreflective buyer snatches the product out of your hands.

But what we as social beings are actually looking for in social media is not a product, but rather we are looking for connection, growth and self-knowledge.

We are looking for EMOTIONS.

When we have a problem, we look for the emotion that will make us feel good again, but not necessarily for advice on how to solve the root cause of the problem. That's why those who offer the right emotion also sell their product best. Even if it isn't a truly sustainable solution to the problem. That's how we function when we are unconscious and don't deal with these mechanisms. And so fake connections are used to enrich oneself at the expense of others who can only be disappointed because what is written on the label is often not what is inside.

When people can no longer distinguish between real and fake connections, they are easily seduced.

Some content creators or influencers earn money with short videos in which they show off their lives, which can be interpreted as a subconscious desire to be seen. Some successful online entrepreneurs don't care if they have to scurry around naked to attract attention. The main thing is that the money rolls in or the number of followers increases because it has become an addiction to check them daily. At the same time, these same people often say that they are highly sensitive and have little ability to come into contact with people. Somehow paradoxical, isn't it?

Of course, this does not apply to all content creators or influencers. But some really know no boundaries. Here you can also see that some people do not see their followers as people, which they like to blame them for if a statement is understood differently than intended. The circle is complete.

The expectations placed on followers and digital creators are simply completely exaggerated and do not correspond to reality. And so psychological pressure builds up on both sides.

It is a false sense of solidarity that is obviously being practiced here.

The worst thing is that many of them will probably need therapy sooner or later because they have betrayed themselves and sold themselves for products that they probably wouldn't even use if they hadn't been given them as a gift. In this way, they have forced themselves into a pattern, primarily for money. And this is exactly what they accuse the older generation of, saying that their parents and grandparents worked all their lives for money and got nothing out of life. But they usually do the same thing - just in a different way that looks better on the outside.

If you're looking for people with a lack of self-esteem, you'll find them especially on social media. Some people extol self-love and self-worth, while sabotaging any budding, real connection and preferring to look at the fake world on their phone.

Some comments are often not only well-meaning, but also, without any self-reflection, attacking and hurtful. This also leaves a mark on the souls of everyone who is present on social media.

There is a lack of authenticity, but also a lack of clear self-regulation. And most of the time, the images and videos shown are just a beautiful, perfect world that does not actually exist in their lives. Some are now moving on to showing the dark side as well. Many are now crying into the camera and explaining to their audience that they too are people with all kinds of different and real feelings. In my view, this mostly happens out of the desperation that has already set in as to whether this world that they have built for themselves is what they really want. And it is a clear sign of the disappointment that many feel again and again and yet do not want to admit, because it would mean having to let go of what they have projected their personal happiness onto.

Many people are voyeuristic by nature, even if hardly anyone admits it, and like to look into other people's rooms and attics and enjoy the emotional orchestra that is offered to them. Because that is what the subconscious wants: EMOTIONS.

This way, they can either bring up their own emotions and feel them again, or simply take on one that they don't actually have at the moment. However, the emotions are only intensified and not healed. Because in order to heal an emotion sustainably, you have to actively feel it. But when we consume social media, we don't feel - we receive all kinds of emotions, our body automatically reacts to the images, music and texts with compassion, but in the worst case, these emotions then stagnate in the body and put a strain on it. This can lead to mental and physical illnesses, because emotions are ultimately energy.

To be precise: life energy.

This energy is bound and triggered again and again, but when the trigger is no longer there and the nervous system calms down, the addict wants more of it. Because the system is so paradoxical and wants more of the emotions.

It stirs up EMOTIONS and that is the addictive substance.

Because there are those who want to be seen and those who want to see.

Because there are those who want to feel and those who want to evoke emotions.

Because there are those who want to be silent observers and those who want to tell stories.

But both rarely show their true colors. If they show even a little of it, they are usually attacked, belittled or silenced. And these successful influencers can all tell you a thing or two about that. They think that people don't begrudge them their success, which may be true in some cases, but in my opinion is not the real cause of the negative or even hateful comments.

What I think from a psychological point of view is that people who have seen a false, perfect world all this time don't want to be robbed of their illusions. They don't actually want to see or feel their own pain. They want to avoid it. And that's exactly why so many people are on social media and look at colorful, beautiful pictures. Because they hope that this will help them forget the pain and the reality around them.

They attack whenever the content creators or influencers show themselves to be weak, so that they have other sides than just jumping around happily, wearing perfect make-up and always having the right line ready. Since this spoils the day for some voyeurs who were expecting something different, the naughty service provider is forced back into line with verbal attacks. Because influencers and content creators are service providers in the broadest sense and they are people who want to be loved. So they do what the followers expect, even if sometimes it is no longer fun and you need a filter to conceal your own tear-stained eyes.

But what is more likely to happen to many of them is that they recognise the fraud and have just been waiting for it to be exposed, so to speak. And then they take pleasure in the fact that the digital entrepreneur, whom they think they know very personally, is doing badly and behave like a bad friend or relative who says to you after a break-up: See, I always knew he wasn't right for you.

Every compassionate person knows what this says about a person. In any case, it is not a solution, but rather an intensification of the problem.

I say this so drastically because I have seen it like this several times. And I find it sad, but at the same time a sign of the lack of reflection ability of many. Some influencers then express criticism of such comments and still try to play the strong one, not least to restore a possibly tarnished image (BILD). But here too, it is simply not authentic and leads to new problems.

It is a doom-loop.

Of course, there are exceptions to everything that do not get lost in the digital world, but as the followers are getting younger and younger, the danger of falling into early dependence on the wrong connection is even greater for the younger generation.

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Why do we behave so unnaturally and form fake connections when we seek and need real connection more than ever?

Well, that's because we often don't (or can't) expect adequate help from our fellow human beings. The reasons for this often lie in negative childhood experiences, but also in a generally desensitized society that has accepted fake relationships and barely distinguishes them from real ones. So it's natural to learn to hide behind a mask of unnatural behavior instead of showing that you're overwhelmed, at your limit, or helpless.

Those who have become so used to their mask that they can hardly take it off and who still want to be like that even in their private, physical life, often react defensively when you ask them about it. They believe that the fake face is their real face and no longer recognize their own problems. Since so many people do it, it is not a problem and you don't have to question yourself. Until one day you wake up and wonder why you don't know what true love is and how to interact with a physical being at your side, without a mask.

And here the path has already been mapped out. Because I am sure that people are intelligent enough to recognize this deception at some point and will actively turn to the physical world. Many people are already showing that spending time in nature, spending time as a couple or with family, and also time alone, far away from digital media, is generally very good for them and that they want it.

Retreats for dropouts are springing up everywhere and give people the opportunity to return from the false world to the real one. And more and more people are taking advantage of these offers, which I think is very encouraging and shows that in the real world, many things regulate themselves. Even though that doesn't apply to everyone and the collateral damage is still far too high.

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Some of the digital entrepreneurs, but also many private users, seem to want to be like stars. Starlets, Z-list celebrities who crave applause without realizing that no one applauding really knows them. And in order to stay healthy, they should not care at all whether anyone likes what they do in their lives. And consequently, they should then lead their lives privately again, like most stars who have learned this and voluntarily want to return from the limelight to obscurity because otherwise they will be destroyed.

But if they did that, all that money and all the dreams that came with it would be a thing of the past. Or at least the path to it would no longer be so easy.

And this is where it becomes clear who really has self-worth.

Self-worth has nothing to do with money.

Self-esteem is something that every living being is born with. It cannot be changed, but the ego can give it a different idea, which it then defines as a goal and associates with money. You have already created a problem for yourself instead of gratefully accepting the reality that already exists.

Social media can massively change lives overnight. Both positively and negatively.

This makes it all the more important to think carefully about what you are LOOKING FOR on social media! Yes, that was ambiguous.

The only thing most people get on social media is advice from unknown third parties, who are sometimes even bots and fake profiles, and this does not solve the problems, but rather exacerbates them. Of course, there are also those who offer real solutions in the form of comments under posts, but here something is often misunderstood, so that it becomes less and less and the focus is no longer on finding a solution, but only on sharing one's own suffering.

Because now comes what the subconscious does to protect the individual from its own pain: It denies ever having had a problem or asked for help in order to no longer be bothered by haters, advice or other unwanted comments.

By the way, the word "to trouble" means to bring light into the darkness.

And when others shed light on the darkness of one's own subconscious, it is usually not accepted any more than by close relatives. One reacts as usual, with defense, because facing the pain would simply be too cruel. Because the subconscious does not react to the person standing in front of one, but to one's own inner world - and thus to the old wound that has not healed. And those who only live in the digital world and orient their entire life around it can only react defensively if someone questions or criticizes this wonderful, perfect world.

In order to avoid advice, criticism or haters, many people only show themselves in their absolutely perfect lives, with perfect houses, perfect children, perfect dogs and cats and of course it always looks as if everyone is rich and beautiful, thanks to filters!

But what is really there is concealed. Often in order to sell a new product soon. And here the followers who are already connected are often fleeced in order to be able to continue to live the lifestyle that keeps the followers in the wrong connection. Because a product that is cheap is simply bought at the breakfast table, while your husband or even the children are just as busy looking at their cell phones as you are. Then there is a brief moment of success, which is soon forgotten. Then reality strikes - your own life is not like the one on your cell phone. And the subconscious starts to compare, and for some it goes so far that they unconsciously destroy their families in order to chase after the life that others supposedly have.

And those who sell enjoy the numbers in their account, while they themselves increasingly mutate into a hollow figure on the Internet.

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Communication is mainly done via technology and problems are ignored and no longer discussed because everyone has now learned to avoid criticism and other points of view. If you weren't able to do that beforehand and still receive negative comments, you simply resort to aggression to fend off the "attacker" who may have only wanted to help. Social media therefore encourages our aggression and negative thoughts and actions, which most people don't even notice. Because they don't realize that they get angry when they are interrupted while they are writing a message to a complete stranger.

And so no solution is found anymore, but people keep their emotions to themselves and try to solve everything themselves, even though everyone has more emotions than ever triggered by what they consume every day.

Some have made great progress with meditation, yoga and other methods over the years, but that doesn't mean that most people can heal themselves. Addiction is not easy to cure on your own. A complex intervention is required, which, in order to be sustainable, takes place as directly as possible in the subconscious.

It is precisely these defensive reactions with which we react to others that hide the problems and their causes from our own perception in the subconscious. This means that we can only see so far into ourselves and if we are good at distracting others from our own mistakes, we can do the same with ourselves. It is the betrayal of ourselves that becomes visible here and then has to be hidden again by completely denying the addiction.

When people come to me for hypnosis , despite having experience with meditation and the belief that they already know everything about themselves, they are very surprised at the information the subconscious has available to help them find a solution. And when something painful comes up, the subconscious is still the savior in need and fends off the cause of the pain, usually through DISTRACTION! To prevent this from happening and to eliminate the cause, external guidance is needed to keep the person on track. That is my job. Because we are all very good at evading and social media trains us to do so.

And so most people pull out their mobile phones and fall back into the world of social media instead of looking for someone who can actually help. Because they are also less and less aware of their real problems. Because the hours of consumption so wonderfully take up the time in which you could just sit on the couch or yoga cushion all alone, without doing anything, to do what would be healing:

Listen, feel and see within.

But that is far too boring for a nervous system that is already addicted to EMOTIONS. Thoughts rush loudly through the head and images flicker before the eyes. Inner peace - nowhere to be found. And so many give up before they have even learned what meditation is and how to achieve it.

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This means that those who are present on social media and can offer adequate help are usually not taken seriously or people get hung up on the old money issue. Then they claim that they don't have any money for therapy or coaching. What is interesting is that the same people spend hundreds of euros every day on mostly plastic products on social media, thereby covering up their problem even more and putting our planet under further stress.

If you talk about something like that, you'll quickly be labeled a bad guy!

For years, social media has helped people teach each other not to have compassion or to help each other, but only to confirm their positive or negative feelings, regardless of the actual causes.

Sentences like: "I'm so sorry for you," or: "I understand you completely," or "I feel the same way. You'll get through it," are all no help. They even block self-healing, because healing has nothing to do with pity. A good therapist or coach has compassion, but above all they look for the real cause and do NOT allow themselves to be DISTRACTED by the story of suffering that is being told. In hypnosis training, we were therefore first taught that there is always a story that is being told that you have to look past in order to see the cause.

But most people are afraid of being seen because they secretly believe that what they see is something evil, dark or negative. My clients are often very surprised that self-discovery reveals something different and, looking back, are relieved to have finally dealt with it instead of continuing to run away from the shadow.

Compassion and pity are not the same thing.

The former simply proves that therapists and coaches are also human and know the emotion felt from their own lives, and can therefore react empathetically. I do not put myself above the person I am talking to when I say what helped me in this situation or what I know could help. Holding that back would be a lack of compassion and in some cases even negligent.

Compassion, on the other hand, is to remain in the emotion and not have a solution. You yourself are suffering. That is why people say: I am sorry. But shared suffering is not half the suffering, it is multiplied and now two people have to suffer. And that is what happens most often and unfortunately does not help anyone, even if most people are happy when their emotions are confirmed and feel connected in this way. Connected in shared suffering.

And here it is again. The wrong connection. The connection that leads away from healing and increases problems in relationships.

There really is no ONE FITS ALL solution!

Once someone has become aware of their problems, which interestingly enough usually arise from consuming social media, they then consume the content of the experts who are springing up everywhere, in the quiet hope of finding a solution that is as free and quick as possible.

In essence, some people may just want confirmation that it's time to break up with the toxic person they loved so much when the world was more colorful. But now they've become annoying and without looking at the real causes, social media is churning out the best judgments that make the decision easier.

How do I know that? From my content insights. Here I can see exactly which of my videos are popular with my audience and which aren't. And if there's one thing I can see, it's that the ones labeled toxic relationships or heartbreak are the ones that get the most views. However, many people don't like what I'm saying because I'm not blowing the same horn and brazenly telling viewers to focus on themselves. And then I'm uninteresting again.

For many people, it has become a sport to psychologically analyze their partner and diagnose them with a narcissistic personality disorder because a coach who is an absolute expert in this field from his own experience tells you exactly what makes a narcissist on social media.

And that's exactly what the public is asking for, and the ONE FITS ALL solution is selling like hotcakes. Because they always have one thing in common: it only helps if the other person is the bad guy and you are the victim. Then you stay in this comfortable position and are happy that you have found someone who has helped you to end the marriage or relationship without having to worry about yourself.

And if you can make money with it, there are more and more clever business people who recognize this immediately and offer an online course. But anyone who has really had such a traumatic experience actually needs 1:1 support from a trained therapist and should be prepared to deal with their own shadows. But why should you buy it when the online course promises help and only costs a fraction of the price?

Those who buy cheap, buy twice.

Suddenly the self-esteem that was previously so tied to money is no longer there. And people doubt that they need help. In many cases, this may actually be the case, because it is very often not a toxic relationship and they know very well that they are no angel. But often it is just the old defense not to accept help. For many people, accepting help is the biggest problem, because it makes them feel sick or incomplete. But only those who have an insight that there really is a problem, whatever the nature, seek help.

The bad thing about it is not that some offer online courses or other help, but that they damage the trust of people who are genuinely searching, so that they have little hope of ever finding someone they can trust. Because it is no longer a secret that up to 97% of people drop out of an online course early.

I have had many conversations with those affected and I know that they often come away with the conviction that no one can help them anyway. It was not uncommon for me to have to work with them on this barrier first in order to even get to the real problem. For those affected, this often means longer and more frequent sessions and that puts a strain on their wallets. But if I have to repair the damage that others have caused, I can't do it for free. And as a person affected, you just have to understand that.

So it's about differentiation! Not all coaches and therapists or other providers, such as influencers and content creators, are the same. There is always a range from to and that's why it's so difficult for us to make appropriate decisions on social media. Because in a world where we can be easily deceived, trust hardly stands a chance.

However, when you become aware of the mechanisms, you start to see the content differently and see through the many lies and seductions to the truth. You can manage to train yourself to spend as little time on social media as possible and consciously only connect with those who are genuine, natural and approachable. And that is what you need to check! We all have to learn to distinguish a fake connection from a real one.

And the best way to do this is still through personal contact. And if this cannot take place in person, it is at least possible via video chat, and here you have all the main senses together. This makes it much easier to get to know the other person first, as free of prejudice as possible. Many of my colleagues and I therefore offer free initial consultations , which have proven to be very helpful for both sides, especially when it comes to very personal topics. These conversations serve to ensure absolutely value-free and open-ended communication.

But here too there are the black sheep who pressure the potential customer to make a decision at the end of the conversation. From a psychological point of view, this is absolutely reprehensible, as it is always important for people to think about what they have heard and, especially when larger sums of money are involved, not to make the decision ad hoc. This is how you recognize a good coach or therapist. Because they have no need for such sales techniques.

Personally, I would not buy anything from anyone who pressured me into making a purchase during the first conversation.

Since we are all just human beings with feelings, these defensive reactions also have consequences for the person who offers help and has to endure insults in return.

What does the helping person learn in their subconscious?

  1. My help is punished.

  2. I am completely misunderstood.

  3. I get pigeonholed as a salesman (which is not the same as a good therapist) because I offer help.

  4. I must not show anyone that I have compassion and a solution.

  5. I don't help anyone anymore unless they ask me to.

  6. The other person doesn't want to solve his problem, he just wants to get something for himself: attention! Followers! Sales! Money!

The latter is a low blow and the swan song for everyone who could offer help! Because it is what you are often accused of doing in "self-defense" and so the circle closes. Those who need help no longer receive it. And those who offer really good help stay in the background and wait for those who recognize their suffering to turn around and look for therapists and coaches themselves. Yes, maybe they are on social media too, but maybe they are precisely the ones who don't have the most followers or don't advertise on a platform. Here you can give the quiet ones a chance. They can usually do more than expected.

Dear reader, I hope you've noticed something.

What is written on the label is often not inside. But if you make the effort to look at what is inside, you can experience true miracles. And seeing them again is a very nice goal in life, isn't it?

Because the truth is that we always react to others based on our experiences and injuries. And if we have often been disappointed by therapy, coaching or other offers of help, that does not mean that there is no help available.

Because maybe it was actually the lack of connection that sabotaged the success of the therapy or coaching?

Unfortunately, the destroyed trust in the people who can help also has a spiritual component, which I would also like to address for current reasons.

We live in a time of great upheaval and change that will lead to drastic changes in our lives on earth. And the direction in which it will change also depends on what people really want.

But if you are distracted by the media, it can be difficult to explore your own thoughts, ideas and feelings without taking on others. Then, without noticing it, you are simply led into a world that you may not want later on. This is how forces in our world get what they want, regardless of the large number of people who simply go along with it as if in a trance.

This is precisely why older people often stand there shaking their heads and saying: everything was better in the past.

It may be that they are exaggerating a little, because there is also a past that hardly anyone wants to go back to. And yet there is a spiritual message in it. Namely that it has always been the case that we have had a say in the world we want to live in. And we have always allowed ourselves to be manipulated into doing what the masses do, think and believe is right. There are many negative examples of this.

We must be clear that our subconscious mind has a generalization problem. It is constantly comparing incoming data and emotions with existing ones and triggering reactions that are very unconscious. And so people react to their own experiences in a completely understandable and almost predictable way in social media, just like in the rest of physical life. That is why they are already easy to control by AI and AI because they work with exactly this data.

Virtual worlds, virtual reality, pros and cons of virtual worlds, dangers of consuming digital media and virtual worlds

And that has an enormous impact:

  1. People lose touch with reality and find it difficult to distinguish one from the other.

  2. People reduce their compassion or, even if they still have it, they do not allow themselves to show it or offer help for fear of attack.

  3. People become mentally and physically ill. Not only because of the lack of movement caused by consuming social media for hours, but also because of the unprocessed emotions that are constantly present in the body.

Of course, these are just the extremes. The big field is in the middle, so not everyone will identify with it.

Social media isn't all bad, of course. There are also wonderful posts that can help heal hearts. I also see a lot of content creators who primarily offer profound posts and videos that make people think. But here the user decides what he or she thinks is good.

And this is precisely where our opportunity lies.

We will probably never be able to do away with technological devices, social media and other media, unless the satellites fail and people are forced to focus on themselves, which is something I sometimes secretly wish would happen.

The digital world is part of our world today, but what we can do is reflect on what we put into these platforms and how we respond to the comments of others.

And anyone who is really looking for help with a problem will go out and find someone. Whether through social media or other means is irrelevant. But in order to solve a problem, it is essential to first recognize that it exists and to focus on finding the right solution.

It's actually always been like that! The medicine man didn't have to sell anything to his customers and he didn't have to advertise either. They came when they needed help because they realized they couldn't go on living like that. And it's perfectly clear to me that this would lead to the bankruptcy of the marketing agencies that generate a large proportion of the revenue from social media. Every consumer should think about that now. Because their own consumer behavior has a huge influence on the quality of social media and its continued existence in general. I am convinced that together we can transform social media into a place where we can actually get very good information and at the same time give something that puts its value into perspective. And so it will once again be about people becoming aware of it themselves.

You don't have to quit social media, throw your phone out the window and move into the woods if you learn to consciously control your consumption and train your subconscious and algorithm to only allow what feels like a real connection. Differentiating between these things will be the key to experiencing the world of tomorrow without losing touch with reality.

How can you contribute to the positive development of social media?

First, you should set a time limit per day for how long you want to spend on social media. I recommend no more than 30 minutes, divided into two 15-minute periods. Some platforms even offer timers to remind you when the time is up or it's time to go to bed. These times only apply to consumption, not to content creation, which of course takes much more time.

Furthermore, if you feel emotionally addressed by a post, either positively or negatively, I recommend asking yourself a few important questions BEFORE you react.

  1. What emotion does this trigger in me right now?

  2. What do I do with my emotions?

  3. Is it even necessary to respond to the comment?

  4. What is my goal with my reaction?

  5. Is the goal loving?

  6. Could I hurt someone with my words?

If you have received a comment that contains information that you were not aware of, you should pause for a moment and ask yourself:

  1. What does that have to do with me?

  2. Is there any truth in this? - And be completely honest with yourself!

  3. What emotion does this trigger in me?

  4. How do I deal with this emotion?

  5. How do I react to this?

  6. Do I answer or not? Both are allowed!

Because our senses are severely limited in social media, meaning we don't receive the body signals that are so essential to us when we comment, it can happen that others feel emotionally triggered by certain words or a way of writing. That's why I always think twice about whether and what I say.

It can be helpful to choose your words and sentence structure very carefully and to write a longer text in order to address any misunderstandings directly and take the wind out of other people's sails. I have had very good experiences with this, even if it takes me more time.

Short, thoughtless comments, if they do not simply contain positive approval, are sometimes perceived negatively, which is obviously what some authors want. The motto here is: the main thing is attention - it does not matter whether it is positive or negative. However, this only proves how much help this person actually needs. And if he or she were aware of this, the person would voluntarily delete what was written.

If you receive very negative comments, you need two things in particular:

  1. Seeing in the other person how little of what you wanted to say has been understood and that he or she is reacting from his or her own experience.

  2. Forgiveness.

Woman lying in the grass, deep connection to the earth, grounding, connecting with Mother Nature, digital detox

Only in this way can social media become a place of real connection for us. This is the responsibility that each and every one of us bears every day. And so, through social media, we can even learn to feel our emotions more consciously and grow together from them. Despite all the dangers to body and soul, it also offers us exactly the healing paths that we need in order to be able to use this medium to move into a great future.

What I recommend to everyone to use social media in a healthy way:

  1. Make conscious contact with Mother Earth for at least one hour every day. This means spending time in nature, for example going for a walk, without a cell phone or distractions, even alone, to experience silence.

  2. Consciously spending time every day with your family, your partner and doing something completely analogue, like playing board games, reading real books and telling each other jokes, hugging each other - just like that - without saying a word. Or with loving words.

  3. If you work a lot on a PC or laptop, take a green break for at least 5 minutes every hour by either looking out the window at the greenery or, if there isn't much greenery, by looking at a green houseplant on your desk. This relaxes your eyes and your nervous system.

  4. Every day, spend at least 3 minutes looking into your own eyes in the mirror and consciously smiling. This creates laugh lines and stimulates the brain to send positive vibes to the body. This is how emotions are processed and negative information is corrected.

  5. Write on Post-its: I love my analogue life. Spread them around the house and remind yourself to put your phone away.

  6. Take a day every few weeks and at least a week every few months to have a digital detox and not go on social media. You can do this by going on a trip, but you can also do it from home by putting your phone in a box and writing on it: Only in an absolute emergency!

  7. Consciously process your emotions every evening before going to bed. This involves releasing the emotions that have built up in your body during the day. I'll show you how to do this.


Social media used to be a tool for keeping in touch with people who lived far away but who you already knew in real life. It is also a great way to network with new people you don't know yet but who have similar interests. Today it has also become a source of income for many people, which is generally fine as long as the services are ethical.

But it also poses many dangers to our natural perception and our most important elixir of life: true connection.

The latter should be our goal in order to put the digital world in the place in our lives where it belongs - far behind all the physical experiences that life offers us.

This text was created without AI and is my personal point of view, which does not represent general validity and is largely based on my experiences and those of my customers.


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